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Love: The Thing That Makes Life Worth Living For.

What does it mean to love? How can we be sure that we are loving in the best way possible? Answers to these questions can only be found when we dare to be vulnerable about what makes love so magical in this grand experience of life.

Cocoa Beach, FL. May 4, 2017

A Note

October 15, 2021

Hi Everyone,

I am writing this post in a time of internal turmoil as I seek to find a new meaning of love in my life. I am trying to make sense of how the absence of love or the feeling of being loved can be turned into a motivational force for going forward in re-finding the most important type of love, self-love.

It is the heart of the fall here in North Carolina. I am looking out into the Smoky Mountains breathing in deep to capture the moment, to feel the feelings, and to breath out the negativity and heartbreak that life sometimes brings to our lives.

The most important thing to understand about love is that it is the precursor of grief. We only learn this after love has slipped through our fingers. Love, and the loss of love, is in some ways the secret ingredient that gives us the ability to understand the value of time. How much we loved can be measured by the impact its absence has on our lives.


Love Is A Journey

Love is the most mysterious flavor of life. It is an evading presence that we are always chasing and can’t seem to entirely define. Love can bring us the highest of highs, but it can also bring us the lowest of lows. Love is a verb, a noun, and an adjective all in one. Love is the unit of measurement for the value we use to describe almost everything in our lives. In a way, love is what makes life worth living.

My journey with love has been a wild ride. Whether it was falling madly in love with someone and having my heart broken, the deep connections with family and friends that was severed by a disagreement or death, or finding what it means to love myself again after failed suicide I have uncovered some things about love that I think are important to share.

I have long wondered how to best define love in all its forms. I continue to be curious about what aspects of love are universal, if any. So far, my examinations seem to highlight that one unifying quality of all true love is kindness.

When I use the word "kindness," I am defining it as a way of being that manifests as a state of mind that is consistently non-judgmental and intentional about going beyond the surface. A sign that we are being kind to ourselves and others is when we are able to let go of assumptions and replace them with a desire to learn.

For me, kindness is the application of love because it demonstrates our willingness to be humble. Humility is the secret ingredient to practicing kindness, and it is through kindness that we gain a richer experience of what it means to be love.

For someone who is intensely searching for a deeper meaning, one of the most challenging revelations to accept is that genuine love is patient. Love is not something to be rushed, but rather a process that requires us to be present and to give space and appreciation to where love is in the moment. Rushing love undermines the importance of this process and can lead to relationships that are built on pure desire and assumptions, rather than on a foundation of trust and respect.

I have made this mistake in the past, and I have found that it is not sustainable. When we force friendships or connections of any kind, it is often a reflection of our own impatience and our inability to be patient with the process of self-love. We are not acting with kindness when we desire the product of love more than the process of loving.

Instead, we should embrace the process of love and allow it to unfold naturally. When we do this, we open ourselves up to the possibility of experiencing a love that is deep, meaningful, and lasting.

The Value Of Love Is Often Realized When Its Gone

In conclusion, I believe that great love comes with great loss. This is because the true measure of our love for something or someone is often revealed when it is gone. As we age, we come to understand this truth more deeply. This is why I have placed this lesson last, as it encapsulates all of the points mentioned above.

Losing something or someone, including ourselves, is always a painful experience. However, there is also something beautiful to be found in the varying levels of pain that we feel when we lose a loved one. I believe that the quality of a loving connection is reflected in the lessons that we learn from it. Therefore, it is okay to feel a sense of great loss if the magnitude of the lessons gained from that bond are also great. This means that the love that we shared was rich and unique, and that it was somehow connected to our purpose in life.

The profound nature of love shines in the absence of it. Therefore, cultivating a positive way to work through a lost love begins with acknowledging that grief is a natural part of the process of love. By allowing ourselves to feel our pain, we can begin to heal and move on. In doing so, we can honor the love that we shared and find new ways to love in the future.

Istanbul, Turkey. March 12, 2021

Applying some variation of the knowledge I laid out in this post to any love situation has dramatically changed the way I value and appreciate the experience of love. I have made so many mistakes when it comes to loving myself and loving others, yet it is still the most intriguing part of life I have ever experienced. I still have so much more to learn about love. But I appreciate my attempts at trying to understand more about what love means to me, and how I can do a better job of being love.

Thank you to all of you who have read this far. If you liked the content, or have any comments or questions please feel free to let me know below in the comment section.


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